Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Thursday, September 11, 2008

On Bad Movies and the Presidency

Academy Award winning actor, Matt Damon, recently took a break from bedding down Hollywood starlets to share with the American public his concerns about a potential Palin presidency. With a grave expression on his face, while rubbing his thumb up and down the Oscar he won in 1995 for best original screenplay for the movie Good Will Hunting, Damon earnestly stated how he worried about Sarah Palin becoming president.

Of course, Palin is not running for president; John McCain is. But in Damon's mind, he is like pushing 90, and the moment he steps from the podium after being sworn in, he could die from a massive stroke. That leaves hockey mom Sarah in the top slot and how exactly is a mom from Alaska gonna take on the thugs and criminals in the world? By using hockey techniques? Seeing that the Ruskies are all into hockey, that may not be a bad idea.

At any rate, such a possibility is absurd, Damon lectures, like a really bad Disney Channel movie, called something like "First Mom" or "President Mom" starring a plucky Valerie Bertinelli, and Tony Danza as her lead Secret Service agent and love interest.

But like the depth of thought of many of Hollywood's finest, has Damon considered the alternative? The potentiality of a Obama presidency is like a really bad Lions Gate direct-to-DVD Oprah production that tells the story of how a young, spirited African-American man, played by Cuba Gooding (also an Oscar winner, I might add), becomes president. The movie will begin with the backstory of how he helped a group of disadvantage inner city youth save their community center from demolition by the hands of white corporate bad guys led by Tom Arnold, who only wanted to build a 5 star resort. Why they would want to build a 5 star resort in inner-city Chicago is not clearly explained, but it is beside the point.

Then, emboldened on how he stopped corporate greed, our hero becomes locked in a struggle for the state senate seat with a white, rich racist played by Charlie Sheen. Then, with the aide of some friends in the media and a LA activist divorce court judge, Gooding's character is able to expose the sleazy sex life of this bad guy and win the senate seat. It's a tremendous underdog story about overcoming great odds by pulling from your inner self. Lou Gossett could guest star as a reverend of some sort.

The rest of the story, as they say, will be explained by a slightly fictionalized biographical text inserted over the black and white still of a smiling Gooding being encircled by the original community youth group as they all rejoice in the sweet embrace of hope. That sets us up for a sequel that will go into the trials and struggles of winning the presidency.

It's not Good Will Hunting exactly, but I see all sorts of potential with a movie like that, right?

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Blogger P.D. Nelson said...

One minor point of contention there Fred on 9 December 2005 Matt Damon married his girlfriend Luciana Barroso. So he's sort of quit bedding starlets for at least two years.

However, I think your Obama movie has potential you really ought to shop it around you may gets some bites.

Tongue firmly in cheek,


9:21 PM, September 11, 2008  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

I hear about people in Hollywood getting married at times.


10:34 PM, September 11, 2008  

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