Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Monday, May 26, 2008

Richard Dawkins' post box

TO: Dr. Richard Dawkins
Dr. Eugenie Scott
SUBJECT: vestigial organs.

Dear Dr. Dawkins,

First, please allow me some room for offering personal praise. I must say your work over the years establishing evolutionary fact and debunking religious nonsense like creationism, has been outstanding. I would even be bold enough to say no one has come close to your skill in using whithering logic and unmovable reason when it comes to trouncing those "fundy mental patient" Christians.

Pleasantries aside, allow me to turn to the reason I am writing you. As you know, Dr. Dawkins, vestigial organs are proof positive of biological evolution. These evolutionary leftovers clearly demonstrate modern man has undeniable animal ancestry, and as noted in a recent article on the New Scientist website, vestigial organs serve as the creationist's nightmare. Being an atheist devoted to rational, clear headed reason, I can think of no greater weapon so easily available to employ against those creation pseudo-scientists and their hill billy infested "museum" down in Kentucky.

I truly do not believe we atheists have fully exploited vestigial organs as evidence against creationism, and because of that, I am seeking to have my vomeronasal organ, outer ear points, and my tail bone surgically removed to prove the stupidity of creation pseudo-science. I already had my wisdom teeth removed when I was 17, and even though the appendix and tonsils have been taken off the vestigial organ list, I personally believe it was in error, and I am going to have them removed as well. I would like to have my hair follicle muscles that cause goosebumps removed, too, but it appears at this time our medical knowledge is not at a place of development for such an operation. More than likely, it would prove to be way too extensive and perhaps painful.

With that as a bit of background, this is where I need your help, Dr. Dawkins. Even though there would be no physical harm come to me with the removal of my vestigial organs, I have had difficulty finding a surgeon to perform the necessary procedures. All of them I have approached so far cite ethical concerns as to why they refuse to fulfill my request for removing my organs. I know. It sounds ridiculous, but such is our modern society soaked in religious superstition and the talk of "morality" and all.

Any how, I was wondering if you could recommend an atheist surgeon who would be sympathetic to my cause that I could use over here in the States. Also, do you think you could write a letter of recommendation affirming I will not suffer any long term health problems when I have my vestigial organs removed? A personal letter from a prestigious scientist who is recognized as a leading, world renown expert in biology like yourself, Dr. Dawkins, may go far in helping me to secure a doctor to perform the surgery and meeting my request.

I recognize my pursuit in this matter is really ambitious, but I hope to be a pioneer of sorts for future atheists who will seek to have their vestigial organs taken out and thus will put to end once and for all to this foolish creationism.
Any help you can offer, Dr. Dawkins, would be deeply appreciated.

Michael Cooper



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