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Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Monday, June 25, 2007

The Pyro Magical Mystery Tour

Visitors to Teampyro, I am sure, have noticed for the last couple of months the announcement on the right sidebar proclaiming how all three T-pyro members, Phil, Dan, and Frank, will be present together at this years Founder's Conference in Tulsa OK. Only Pecadillo, the so-called "fourth" T-pyro member, won't be there.

I envy those who will be present to witness this rare conjunction of personalities; an historical event that may never happen again in our life time. This is so much of an unique event that T-pyro fans who will be in attendance are certain to be clamoring loudly for their attention.

Even though these TP fans are Christians - many of them "Reformed" Christians, mind you - who generally handle themselves with grace and proper decorum in the presence of their theological heroes, a danger exists for them to turn swiftly into a mob of groveling sycophants.

Case in point...

A few years ago I was attending a Shepherd's Conference, and during the opening session, John MacArthur recognized Christian author, Iain Murray being in attendance with us. When he stood up to greet the audience, he was sitting immediately behind me. I had read a number of his books and he was by far one of my favorite authors. So, I thought it would be nice when the service was finished to turn and introduce myself and tell him how much I appreciated his books.

As soon as John said "amen," I turned to give Mr. Murray my greeting, but before I could even get his attention and say "hello" I was immediately jostled by a press of bodies all pushing to get to him. At least five men yelled out at the same time, "Can I take you to lunch!?" It was like the media chasing Paris Hilton. He happened to glance at me with an alarmed look on his face, as if he was silently pleading with me to rescue him from this spectacle, and I quickly grabbed his hand and blurted, "Thank you for your books," and then I muscled my way out of the growing throng.

I guess even a congregation of dignified theological geeks can succumb to celebrity frenzy.

With that in mind, may I suggest to our beloved T-Pyros to be prepared for a similar reaction at the Founder's Conference. Though I am not speaking from personal experience with such a situation, if I could be so bold as to offer my thoughts on how to handle excited blog fans:

First, you may benefit greatly from your stardom, because with all the people wanting to take you to lunch, you may not have to pay for any of your meals while in Tulsa. Take advantage of any local steak places.

Also, make sure to carry a pen for autographs.

Most importantly, when you are asked to sign any T-Pyro gear like shirts, bumper stickers, or even the front leaf of a Bible or two, write legibly. People will want to show off your autograph, it helps if they can read the name.

Be gracious when the 120th person of the day approaches you outside the conference, say at a restaurant, and tells you for the umpteenth time that he is your biggest fan and he reads your blog, like, every day.

Wear nice clothes. Jeans, khakis, polo shirts. Unless you have made yourself into an internet persona of a disheveled, sweat pants and t-shirt wearing blogger, you want to maintain a picture of respectability.

Lastly, along those same lines, shave, comb your hair, and tuck in your shirt. Your wives will appreciate it.

1 Comments:

Blogger centuri0n said...

No such thing happened to any of us, though Phil did get a handful of unsolicited "nice to meet yous" from the various attenders.

However, for the record, I buried paul.

11:18 AM, June 29, 2007  

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