Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Awkward Moments

WARNING: The following post contains what some home school moms and ultra-spiritual sensitive types could consider lowbrow bathroom humor and not appropriate for a "Christian" blog. Even though I will make every attempt to be discreet, I risk offending someone somewhere. You have been forewarned.

I have an aversion with using public restroom facilities, especially when there is a need for me, as 1 Samuel 24:3 says, "to cover my feet." However, I am not like many people I know who get so weirded out by having to use a public restroom for when just such a need arises that I won't use it, if you know what I mean.

Having to use a public restroom for just such a need is bad enough. Worse still is a person who likes to chit-chat with you when you are occupying a stall. I have one goal in mind: finish my business and move on. This isn't the place to socialize. What is even worse still is if the person is a total stranger who wants to carry on a chit-chatty conversation with you. I have only had that happen a few uncomfortable times in my life.

So the other day at Wal-Mart I am overwhelmed with the urge to 1 Samuel 24:3. I go into the restroom to attend to my needs and while I am attending, another person comes in next to me. I hear some rustling around then it gets quite and then I hear,

Hey there. How are you doing?

I was stunned and responded with a reluctant, "Oh, I'm doing good."

There was a moment of silence, then I hear,

So, do you know what time it is?

I was stunned again. "Um, I don't have my watch, but I think it is around 4:30."

After another moment of silence I hear,

You know, I'll have to call you back. There's someone here who thinks I'm talking to him.

I quickly completed my goal and made a hasty retreat.



Blogger Mike-e said...

oh my...OH my...I feel you brother

1:24 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger Peter D. Nelson said...

You have to ask yourself this question: Why in the world would you talk to someone on the phone in a public restroom?

As someone who has done phone support for a long time I know that there are times when you just must hang up and call at a better time.

N'uff said.

7:54 PM, January 10, 2007  
Blogger sdp said...

Luckily he wasn't talking to a girlfriend on the phone. That probably would have made you 10x more uncomfortable.

Oddly enough something very similar happened to me. These new bluetooth devices are so small you can't see them without really looking.

Don't you hate when you're talking to someone on the phone, and then you hear the flush?

That just creeps me out.

7:03 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Daniel said...

That was hilarious. You must have felt awful. ;-)

8:20 AM, January 12, 2007  
Blogger Nicholas Z. Cardot said...

That is too funny.

5:00 PM, January 13, 2007  
Blogger Pecadillo said...

That was awesome. You should feel no shame at all. It's totally that other guy's fault. I'm not saying I've never done the mid-call flush joke but it's wildly inappropriate for that guy to be talking on the phone in a public turdlet. And then to end the conversation by trying to embarrass you when he's the freak who's on the phone; that guy's a punk. I got 20 bucks that says it was the C-train.

10:00 PM, January 15, 2007  

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