Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

So, Where's My Armageddon?

The folks over at The House of Yahweh intentionally misspell Bible names. I find this both highly annoying and disturbing. For example, "Matthew = Mattithyah," "Isaiah = Isayah"and "Israel = Israyl."

Yet more troubling is their hysterical announcement that nuclear war was supposed to have happened yesterday, Sept. 12, 2006.

The statement that is still available for viewing at their website, even on this non-eventful, hum-drum Sept. 13th, states:

Beginning September 12, 2006 nuclear war will start that will kill a third part of man over a forth part of the earth; but that is not the end. The end will come thirteen months later with four-fifths of the population destroyed. Yes, the sin-filled religions are supporting their sinful governments to prepare for a mass slaughter. The Savior said the world would engage in nuclear war that will darken the sun.

No Kiddin'? Well, I have to say that I am sorely disappointed, because I for one would like to have had the events of Revelation start to play out. That would save me from having to pay off my college loans.

No word as to whether or not they "miscalculated" or plan to amend their statement. I mean, nuclear war is pretty big. You have the firestorms, radioactive debris, post-apocalyptic zombies roaming the abandon cities looking for flesh and brains; not to mention the societal anarchy that would rise up to replace our culture. Al Gore would proclaim himself the Supreme Pontentate and would dispense justice by putting the criminals in a giant steel cage to fight each other with swords and flaming maces. Or better yet, they are forced to drive across the barren landscape of what is left of America in a car race to the death.

Oh well, maybe next year.



Blogger Peter D. Nelson said...

So I guess this means your starting to lean a bit more postmillenial now right? :)

8:08 PM, September 13, 2006  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

Yes, Postmillennialism with zombies.


6:46 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Highland Host said...

A Surfer Boy type may yet claim that the said atomic holocaust has actually started but an evil government conspiracy has hidden the fact from us.

6:49 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Daniel said...

Perhaps they are on the Julian Calendar?

8:38 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger John Rush said...

Reminds me of the booklet that came out almost 20 years ago... 88 Reasons Why Christ will Return in 1988.


10:08 AM, September 14, 2006  
Blogger Hiraeth said...

There's no nuclear war here in Wales. Not even in Canton.

5:58 AM, September 19, 2006  
Blogger Hiraeth said...

Ahh Postmillenialism with Zombies! I think I saw a couple of those on Queen Street the other day.

5:59 AM, September 19, 2006  

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