Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Scientology Messiah is Born

The long awaited messiah of all Scientologists, prophesied by L. Ron Hubbard in his science fiction classic, Battlefield Earth, was born yesterday evening in Los Angeles. Joyful parents, Thomas and Katie, were excited that they were the chosen guardians of the future galactic liberator of all of humankind. E-meter experts quickly declared the new born infant free of all Thetan activity, thus fulfilling the first of many prophecies concerning the Scientologist messiah. The parents and close family members then ate from the newborn's afterbirth, the properties of which are alleged to impart immortal life.

The new messiah is prophesied to be the leader of the future United World League who will lead a resistance force from planet earth in 2038 to repel the evil overlord Xenu when he attempts to enslave humanity with his star fleet of battle cruisers and anti-depressants.



Blogger Pickle Boy said...

My whole life pretty much revolves around the world of Tom and Katie. Doesn't everyone's? ; )

9:50 AM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger D.J. Cimino said...

Now that was funny :)

2:04 PM, April 19, 2006  
Blogger Joanna Martens said...

Oh crap it's the anti-christ.

Hey! I'm moving to Canyon Country for the summer after school gets out. We'll be neighbors.

11:15 PM, April 21, 2006  
Blogger Fred Butler said...


Neigbors you say? No kidding? Are you from this area or is this the first time? And what brings you to Canyon Country?


5:42 AM, April 24, 2006  
Blogger Joanna Martens said...

God provided a rediculously cheap rent through a family at Grace (community church that is). I will be up for the summer.
A big concern of mine was to be close to the church during the summer, b/c i didn't want to cut off the involvement that i did have. Do you go to grace?
I enjoy your blog. It's entertaining.

9:35 AM, April 24, 2006  
Blogger Fred Butler said...

Yes, I have been attending Grace since 92 when I came out here for Seminary study. I currently work at Grace to You spearheading the volunteers who help package books and CDs and such.

Maybe we will touch base sometime. I love meeting blog personalities.


10:22 AM, April 24, 2006  

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