Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Monday, April 03, 2006

Run For Your Life! KJV Onlyists Will Eat You Alive!

King James Only apologist of the Ruckmanite variety, Jeffrey D. Nachimson, was an occasional blog subject when I began my blog last Summer. I came to know about Jeffrey through some self appointed KJVO apologists I encountered on a couple of discussion forums. If they became too challenged and were unable to answer my charges, they would run to Jeffrey as a "final authority" on the matter under discussion. I guess they perceived him as being some sort of expert. As a result, Jeffrey's responses would be posted on the discussion group or emailed to me with an "Oh yah, answer this you lying apostate" attitude attached.

Jeffrey's flamboyant rhetoric displayed in his articles, his WWF smackdown style pontification against his dissenters, his superfluous use of large vocabulary words to provide a false, intellectual appearance, and the listing of my website, Fred's Bible Talk, under his Alexandrian Apostate category made his articles easy pickins' for my posts. I mean, it was like the proverbial shooting of the fish in the barrel.

Toward the end of last year, an entirely non-KJV only related issue served as a catalyst for a 30 minute phone call I had with Jeffrey. Unlike his cruel Internet personality, I found him to be an amiable and courteous fellow, even somewhat likeable. I came away from our conversation with such a different perspective of Jeffrey, that I began to back off my criticisms of him, because there was more of a genuine person behind all of the senseless bombast. Besides, his article writing stalled and virtually came to a stand still. Regardless, I believe he is totally misguided as to his defense of the King James Version as being the only translation accurately conveying God's Word.

This past Friday around noonish I received this letter from the AV1611 Answers "ministry:"

Dear Reader,

Daily we become more and more perplexed by the increasing hostile attitude toward our *hoary English Bible, and the feeble attempts of anti-intellectual *dillettantes [sic] to desecrate its *melifluous [sic] words. These men (which number into the thousands, but for sake of brevity, we shall name Douglas Kutilek, Fred Butler, James May, Harold Holmyard, Bob Ross, Robert Joyner, Rick Norris, Daniel Wallace to serve as palpable illustrations) have dedicated their lives to destroy the authority of the Authorized Version in order for you to place your faith in their self-contrived *opulence of scholastic aptitude. By so doing, every so often, these Greek and text-critical *adulators infect Christendom with contentious little, supposed *apropos "errors" in the King's English. However, on occasion after occasion we have personally witnessed their subjective attempts falter under the weight of sequestered facts brought to light. For example, we succeeded in getting James May (the school-boy Greek grammarian from Indiana) to concede that his accusations against the A.V. 1611 in Matthew 14:9/Mark 6:26 (translating the Greek plural accusative horkous as an English singular possessive- "oath's) by effectively demonstrating that such an idiom constituted a categorical plural of which he was obviously ignorant. May then proceeded to answer my material in his "Matthew 14:9 Revisited," to which we rejoined with the monstrous article, "May In Fiction."...

...For as long as the Lord tarries his coming, and with our continued health, we will use our wit, our intelligence, our writing abilities, our finances, our education, our resources, and every fiber of our being to fight and deprecate the inaccuracies, subjectivism, and the conniving antics of Biblical scholarship to defend the one English Bible that basically stands alone in its translation and textual tradition: the A.V. 1611. Here is our latest: a defense of the reading, "strain at a gnat" in the Authorized Version of the Holy Bible.

Sincerely in Jesus Christ,
Jeffrey D. Nachimson

First in response, I must express a humble gratitude of being named among such a fine list of men. I personally do not believe I can stand in league with such guys as Doug Kutilek and Daniel Wallace, but apparently I have made so much of an impression on Jeffrey with my articles critiquing the bankrupt beliefs of KJV onlyism, that I have earned a spot.

Second, just so the readers are clear, KJV onlyists begin with the false presupposition that the KJV alone equals the Word of God alone. I guess in the case of Jeffrey it would be the AV 1611 alone equals the Word of God alone. So in other words, if a person questions the translation found in the English of the KJV Bible and even offers a clearer, more concise rendering into English of the original language under scrutiny, that person is said to be changing the Word of God. See how that works? The KJV onlyists begin with appointing their favored translation as being the final authority. It is not the Word of God as God originally revealed it to mankind i.e., the original biblical languages of Hebrew and Greek. Hence, any deviation from that final authority of the KJV 1611 is taking away from, or altering God's Word.

As I have already pointed out on other occasions in the past (read my articles on my journey through KJV onlyism listed on the sidebar), making one 17th century translation of the Bible the final authority does not actually help with defending God's Word, but serves only to cause problems if it can be shown without doubt there is an error in the English text. Jeffrey, along with pretty much every other KJV only apologist, genuinely believes there are no translational errors of any sort in the pages of the KJV Bible. I believe this is a woefully foolish claim. It puts the entire trustworthiness of God's Word in jeopardy, because once anyone with just a simple working knowledge of the original languages points out any one of the numerous translational errors, the Word of God so to speak, has been demonstrated to be corrupt. The word "Easter" at Acts 12:4 in the KJV is a translational error. This is just a matter of fact, and no spinning on the part of the many KJV only apologists to make Easter some divinely preserved translation will not change this most obvious error.

Additionally, Jeffrey is utterly dishonest by calling his "ministry" the AV 1611 Answers Association, because Jeffrey does not use an AV 1611. In fact, no AV 1611 exist today or is in use by any Christian, because the first edition released in 1611 was updated and amended with in the year after its initial publication. So a much more accurate name for his ministry would be the 1612 or 1613 Answers Association. However, even that is not totally accurate, because the KJV went through dozens of revisions up until the end of the 19th century. Rick Norris, another one of my comrades named in Jeffrey's list, has done an outstanding job doing comparisons between the various published editions of the KJV which show the KJV onlyist's claim for having a "final authority" in their hands as they define "final authority" is utterly false.

In truth, what I have dedicated a good portion of my time doing (I wouldn't go so far as to say I have dedicated my life), is to expose the fraudulent apologetics utilized by KJV onlyists in defense of their beliefs concerning preservation and the transmission of the Bible. I want to destroy the phony, self righteous authority of KJV only blowhards, so a person can place his or her faith in the facts of what God has really done to preserve His Word. The historical revisionism and multi-faceted conspiracy theories of KJV onlyists is a dangerous place for any Christian to place his or her faith.

*A Glossary for Jeffrey Nachimson's Big Superfluous Vocabulary Words:

hoary - adj., 1. Gray or white with or as if with age. 2. Very old; ancient.

dilettante - n., One with an amateurish or superficial interest in the arts or a branch of knowledge.

mellifluous - adj., flowing in a smooth or sweet manner.

opulence - n. 1. Having great wealth. 2. Abundant; lavish

adulators - n. To praise excessively or fawningly.

apropos - adj., Appropriate; pertinent.



Blogger Daniel said...

"...have dedicated their lives to destroy the authority of the Authorized Version"


Perhaps he means in the very broad context of dedicating your life to the pursuit of truth no matter where it takes you?

1:06 PM, April 04, 2006  
Blogger Ken Abbott said...

Impressive. I guess his version of the KJV comes with its own thesaurus.

8:18 AM, April 07, 2006  
Blogger Ghostie said...


Great article. You are very informative and do so in a way that makes people want to explore your point of view. Jeff could stand to take a few lessons from you as no one wants to watch some one go off like a mad man in a flaming fit of rage like he liberally does. I personally know of this Jeff Nachimson that you speak of, and the experience is nothing nice. Sure, if you are a KJV onlyist he is a sweetie. But anyone that isn't, is subjected to what constitutes is among the most ungodly behavior that I have ever seen from a self proclaimed man of God. In fact, you can still be a KJV onlyist and consort with the *wrong kind of Christian* (which means one that isn't exactly like Jeff and his ilk) and you get put on his dirty laundry list of people to stalk, harass, and be subject to any vile expression he might conjure up. I knew of a Christian that couldn't even allow his children on the computer anymore due to the vile, crude, disturbing sentiments that Jeff and his lackies felt entitled to IM him with, all while him and this man were in a mock debate over the KJV. Then there was another who Jeff was trying to find out where he lived (for what reason he would need to know this info in a fit of anger, God knows.) These two examples are just the tip of the iceberg pertaining to the wickedness that I had front row seats of observing from this particular individual. I share this because unfortunately, this same person has decided to be a minister and I feel people ought to know what kind of person this is. It is definitely not the kind of person that my KJV states qualifies as a minister of God. I think people ought to be forewarn. This man, is the kind that mans Satan proud.

8:48 PM, October 18, 2009  

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