Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Monday, October 24, 2005

How Bizarre!?

That was exactly my reaction after I read a news article this morning claiming that vampire loving ghoulish author, Ann Rice, has found Jesus and plans to do nothing but write books for the Lord.

I have to confess that I am absolutely ignorant of her work. I have never read any of her books and I never saw any of the movies adapted from them. I only recall a big stink rising up between her and the producers of An Interview with A Vampire after it was announced Scientology wonder boy, Tom Cruise, had been picked to play the lead character. If memory serves me, I think she later recanted her disgust with Cruise and took out a full page article supporting his work in the movie.

At any rate, now that she has become a renewed Roman Catholic, her first novel written for the Lord is due out next week. What exactly did Ann write about concering the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? Did she search the gospel narratives to produce another Passion of the Christ type story? Nope. In fact, it would be fair to say that Mel's epic at least attempted to be biblical. Ann decided to write about the one event in Christ's life no one knows anything about because God decided not to reveal any details: Jesus as a 7 year old boy in Egypt. That's right, she has written a book with the young boy Jesus as narrator telling of his adventures in Egypt with his ma and pa. Does he find the lost ark of the covenant? Raise a Pharaoh from the dead? Use his deity powers to fight an army of mummies?

With all the hype over the Da Vinci Code and the Left Behind series, I think I can feel another fantasy Jesus movie in the works. We'll have to wait and see. Now that she is a Jesus aficionado, it may be wise to have some one explain to Ann the difference between heresy and truth.


Blogger Pickle Boy said...

I think a more interesting fantasy movie would be a history rewrite, where all Christians after 1611 are robotically calling the King James Bible the only legitimate, "inerrant" word of God until 1881, when a two-headed dragon named Westcott-Hort comes on the scene, secretly swapping out pew Bibles in churches with his own devil inspired version. Meanwhile a rag-tag remnant of hold outs start crying in the streets about the great "famine of hearing the words of the Lord" that has come about. But it's of no use. Believers turn into zombies like those in "Night of the Living Dead," unable to see that they've fallen into Wescott-Hort's evil grip. If only Obiwan Erasmus were still around to set things straight again...

12:45 PM, October 24, 2005  
Blogger Frank Martens said...

Pickle, You should be a writer.

9:26 AM, October 25, 2005  

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