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Hip and Thigh: Smiting Theological Philistines with a Great Slaughter. Judges 15:8

Monday, August 15, 2005

Giddy with Eager Excitement

I don't believe I have felt this excited since taking that first monorail ride into Disney World when I was in second grade!

I have been loosely following the rambling diatribes of KJVO apologist Jeffrey Nachimson off and on now for about a year. Like most KJV onlyists, Jeffrey is unoriginal and basically repeats the same mantra rhetoric and hoots and hollers the same tired and refuted argumentation banged out by every KJVO quack to come before him.

I took an interest with Jeffrey because with him it got personal. He declared me and my website, Fred's Bible Talk, as being Alexandrian Apostate and cultish, linking me on his apostate page. I in turn found that accusation to be absolutely comical. The reason for Jeffrey's slur is I have posted a series of audio lectures along with some specific articles refuting the claims of KJV onlyists. I have to state that I am not offended one bit. I mean if Jeffrey was a serious student of scripture and the Christian faith, I might feel the need to talk with the guy to iron out our differences. If anything, I wear Jeffrey's libels with a badge of honor; in a way, I feel all apostolic inside. Like I have finally hit it big time as an Internet presence.

I don't really know much about Jeffrey, because he has a scant amount of personal information on his site. There is a "personal testimony" page that has maintained the same message "Will Be Posted Soon!" for nearly a year or more. I figure the academic rigors of Peter Ruckman's mail order pastoring school keeps Jeffrey too busy to update his site regularly.

At any rate, I would venture a guess based upon his untamed zeal and bold proclamations against real Bible students, who are real scholars who do real apologetics, that Jeffrey is a young squirt in his 20's? The kid's writings are so sophomoric in substance and style that one has to conclude he is a college age lad. I wouldn't think a mature man in his 50s would write the profound tripe that characterizes Jeffrey's work, but I am sure that is a possibility.

What ever the case, I think he believes he is the front runner to replace Peter Ruckman as KJV Pope when ole' Ruckman kicks the bucket and is hauled off bound and naked by a brutish angel before a giant glowing outline of Jesus like in some Chick Tract nightmare.

All of that to say that Jeffrey has honored me by writing up an article deconstructing some email exchanges we had a while back. The title of the article is precious: Butler's Bumbling Bunk Concerning Final Absolute Authority. I just love the alliteration. I am disappointed, though. Why is it only the first three words? A much better title would had been: "Butler's Bumbling Bunk" and then insert the colon and put the subtitle "Concerning the Final Absolute Authority" in italics. You maintain a more consistent alliteration that way. Or he could expand the alliteration to include: "Butler's Bumbling Bunk 'Bout the Bible." That title is more crazy eyed fundamentalist sounding, especially the abbreviated "'bout," rather than "about." Oh, Well.

I am so dismayed that I have no time at the moment to interact with the article. I have a big project here at work to prepare for this week, as well as some lessons to teach, so a response will have to wait. I have to confess my struggle with the temptation to neglect my duties and begin the joyful process of dissecting his article, however. I mean, I have been called a liar and an apostate on KJV discussion boards, but this is an entire Internet article dedicated to rebuking my heresies. A person can now google my name and be directed to this article. Whew, I got the glory bumps crawling up my arms!

Maybe I should go ask Phil Johnson of PyroManiac about how to cope with the excitement. He is called an apostate almost daily.

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